When Dysfunction Goes to Church and Leaves Unchanged
Religion can take you from one delusion to another.
It really can.
Not because religion necessarily creates dysfunction.
But because religion can give dysfunctional ideas somewhere to live.
A framework.
A vocabulary.
A justification.
And sometimes even a community that will reinforce them.
That is what makes it so difficult to recognize.
Because dysfunction doesn't always look dysfunctional once we give it spiritual language.
Fear can become discernment.
Avoidance can become waiting on God.
Control can become spiritual authority.
Poor boundaries can become submission.
Jealousy can become righteous concern.
An unwillingness to admit we were wrong can become standing on conviction.
And now we have a much bigger problem.
Because we're no longer simply protecting an idea.
We think we're protecting God.
I think this is one of the dangers of religion that we don't talk about enough.
You can change your beliefs without ever becoming more truthful.
You can leave one church and join another.
Reject one doctrine and embrace another.
Stop listening to one teacher and find a new one.
Learn an entirely new vocabulary for understanding God, yourself and the world around you.
And still carry the same dysfunction with you.
The fear is still there.
The pride is still there.
The resentment is still there.
The need for control is still there.
The inability to receive correction is still there.
Only now it has new language.
And sometimes that new language makes the dysfunction even harder to confront.
Because before, someone could challenge the idea.
Now challenging the idea can feel like challenging your faith.
Or your obedience.
Or your relationship with God.
That is how religion can become a pillar for dysfunctional ideas.
It can hold them up long after they should have collapsed.
This is why I don't think changing what we believe is enough.
We also have to be willing to examine why we believe it.
What is this belief producing in me?
Does it require me to ignore what is plainly true?
Does it make me more honest or merely more certain?
Am I calling something faith because I don't want to confront my fear?
Am I calling something conviction because I cannot tolerate being wrong?
Am I using God to support something I had already decided I wanted to believe?
Those are uncomfortable questions.
But I think they are necessary.
Because we can spend years dismantling one set of false beliefs only to construct another set on the exact same foundation.
Different doctrine.
Different church.
Different teacher.
Different language.
Same dysfunction.
And if we're not careful, we can mistake that for transformation.
The theology changed.
The dysfunction survived.
It just learned a new language.